What happens when you’re not at work?
This week, while listening to yet another episode of Armchair Expert, I found myself struck by a deceptively simple question posed by actor and filmmaker Tyler Perry …
“What happens when you’re not at work?”
In the interview, Perry was speaking about his search for a purpose beyond his professional achievements.
“What happens when you’re not at work?”
A few years ago, if someone had asked me that question, my honest answer would have been: I have no idea.
At the time, work felt like everything.
It was my identity, and I wore my titles and accomplishments like a badge of honor.
Outside of work, I kept a packed calendar of events, social plans, and family time. But I never slowed down. I hated to be still. The absence of “doing” left me overwhelmed.
Today, if you asked me the same question, there may not be enough room on the page! I’d tell you about how I’ve loved to learn to read again for fun, go on solo adventures, and be still.
So, what changed?
How did I go from defining myself by my work to finding worth in other parts of my life?
Alignment.
How did I go from defining myself by my work to finding worth in other parts of my life?
Alignment.
I haven’t reached alignment, because it’s not a destination.
Just like you need to take your car in for regular alignment after surviving the bumpy roads, you need to check in on alignment with yourself. It’s a constant recalibration.
It’s also about asking honest questions:
What truly matters to me?
What brings me happiness beyond the accomplishments?
What do I want my life to say about me?
Alignment requires shifting from overdrive (and overwhelm) to intentionality. You have to make space from being “busy” to uncover what might hold meaning for you outside of work.
It’s important to say: alignment doesn’t mean abandoning ambition.
It’s absolutely okay to want more for yourself, set big goals, and want to be recognized for the impact you're making! I have ambitious dreams for my business and my life in 2025. But I’ve learned to integrate why I’m chasing something.
It’s important to say: alignment doesn’t mean abandoning ambition.
I’ve stopped chasing accolades. Instead, I’m chasing impact.
For those of us who’ve grounded our worth in our achievement, this process can feel like stepping into the unknown. But in that exploration and work lies freedom—the freedom to rediscover who we are.
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About the author: Kelly (Underell) Stevens is an alignment coach and speaker dedicated to helping women leaders and entrepreneurs grow their impact and live life on their own terms by giving them the tools to choose less and show up for themselves. Learn more at www.kellystevens.co.